Religion

Our Lady

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Every week at least one of my girls is asking me to fix their rosary.  I’m beginning to think that Our Lady is allowing these rosaries to come undone so often so that I can gain more patience by fixing them or maybe I’m just terrible at linking them back together.

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Confessions of a Catholic Housewife

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In the last few months I have made an effort to go to confession weekly.  Usually I go to confession once every few months. I didn’t expect much from this practice – which of course is silly, but I didn’t.

The first month I began to enjoy the custom, I felt better prepared to receive the Blessed Sacrament on Sunday. By The second month I began to feel a bit discouraged about confessing the same sins over and over and over again. Mainly losing my patience with my children, disciplining them in anger not love.  At first, I just confessed my sins I did not think of how I was going to amend my life. But then it hit me, I need to amend my life! I need to avoid the near occasion of sin! I promised that I would after I confessed. Yes, it took me two months to come to this!

I began to reflect on what was an occasion of sin for me? When I was single and dating, this seemed pretty clear to me. A near occasion of sin would involve being alone with a man, a prolonged embrace etc. It seemed to be a very concrete thing to avoid. But this sin of anger seemed different more abstract, how do I avoid it?  I began to seek ways to avoid the near occasion of sin.

By coming to Christ again and again and again, not in despair but in trusting His mercy, graces flowed. The Lord showed me my heart, my sin, slowly, gently, it hit me:

“My child, you have been slothful in your duties.”

Slothfulness? My anger was stemming from slothfulness? I hadn’t even thought that I had a problem with that – I cook, I clean, I do laundry, my house is organized!

Again:

“My child, you have been slothful in your duties.”

It was true, I neglected to guide my children through sheer laziness.  I ignored their mischief, their problems, and let them escalate, not out of necessity or because I was  preoccupied, but from laziness. I let it spiral until the point of anger, yelling, sarcasm, disrespect.

Again:

“My child, you have been slothful in your duties.”

My soul was still. There were no excuses.

“Yes, Lord. forgive me. Make me new!”

There was nothing more that I could say, I was looking at sin, my sin, no one else’s but mine and it took months to come to it. Examining my conscience again and again my true problem surfaced through grace.

Go to confession. Go again and again and again and again and again for our Lord is gentle, loving, forgiving. He will show you your heart and then He will make it new. Do not let shame or fear or despair keep you from His mercy and love- go!