Fr. RIpperger

Marriage Prep and NFP

In one of his Lectures Fr. Ripperger, suggests that NFP talks, given in mixed company are inappropriate. This observation resonated with me. I found it incredibly awkward, as an engaged woman, striving to live a chaste life, to be thrown into a room (of mixed sexes!) and given an explicit “how-to-use- NFP” talk by a married couple. I was mortified. I cried afterwards. It left me demoralized.

The NFP talk given at out marriage prep was at best confusing, at worst heretical. It was presented as a catholic contraception. If you don’t want to have children, use this, not contraceptives! How sad. The focus should have been on the great blessing of children not NFP strengthens marriages and is as effective as contraceptives!

One older engaged couple, said they were not open to having any children because  the dangers of pregnancy, at their age, were too great. This seemed to be accepted as  reason enough, and  to enter marriage, with not intention of ever having any children, was not even blinked at. It was troubling to hear such stories.

I thought marriage was for children, I thought NFP was for grave reasons, I thought that if you weren’t ready for children, you shouldn’t be getting married! The push for NFP seemed completely contrary to all of this.

When it comes to marriage prep, the focus should be marriage is for childrennot how to avoid having children. Of course, the evils of contraception needs to be addressed! Couples should be properly catechized in these matters. But these NFP crash courses are not properly catechizing people! They are  at once biologically explicit and Dogmatically  vague.

I believe NFP courses should be available, Catholicism is not a type Gnosticism, NFP isn’t a secret knowledge. However, it is just a small piece in properly catechizing couples. Such public and mixed presentations are inappropriate. Such sexually explicit discussions are better done in men only or women only groups or privately between the instructor and a married couple or even a single woman who needs it for health reasons.

I am not against NFP in itself. In fact, we find ourselves in a grave situation now. Sadly, my treatment for Lyme Disease, is incompatible with pregnancy.   (I tried treatments that were compatible with pregnancy but they did not work.) Without this treatment (BVT), I was completely bed-bound some days! Without it, my symptoms were numerous and far-reaching: from severe depression, intrusive thoughts to constant heart palpations. I was unable to fulfill my basic duties as a wife and mother.

With treatment, the disease is manageable. the protocol lasts two years. Our circumstances are not ideal.  Although we find practicing NFP necessary at this time, it grieves us. And it should, it’s not normal.

More from Fr. Ripperger

My Previous post on Fr. Ripperger a FSSP priest and exorcist found here the excerpt below is from his paper: Parental Roles and Leadership  emphasis mine.

“Whenever a father fails to pray, suffer and do good works in order to merit graces for his wife and family, he fails in the most important task of husband and father. …When a father sees a moral or spiritual fault in his wife or child, he fails to provide for them if he merely temporarily admonishes them.  Rather, he must spiritually do what he can to merit grace as well as direct his children and wife through his commands to lead them to virtue.

The father, by virtue of the office of fatherhood, has rights over his wife and children, and so when the wife and children submit to the father, they enjoy the fruits of those rights, i.e. spiritual providence and protection.  The wife should not view her subjection to her husband as a loss of freedom or control, but as a form of protection and providence, i.e. by means to her own holiness and spiritual safety.”

“The merits of a father to ward off the demonic are more powerful by virtue of his office as husband than of his wife’s.  Since the demons must respect the order of authority, the father enters more efficaciously into the spiritual warfare with the demonic since ultimately they must submit to the order of authority established by God.”

“He [father]must protect his authority in order to protect his wife and it is here that we can see the massive failure that has led to our feminized culture. The collapse of fatherhood is NOT due to women, it is due to men.  Men have not been men, women have been allowed to take positions God never intended them.  Men are responsible for the feminist movement”

“If he fails in his responsibility, he will pay a greater price than his wife.  . . ”