Birth Order and Marriage

I’m reading “the Birth order book”  a section is dedicated to Marriage which I found intriguing. According to it the happiest couple combination is oldest daughter to youngest son (who is not an only son). The most conflictive matches are oldest daughter to oldest son or only daughter to only son.

I’m the oldest daughter in my family and my husband is the oldest son in his, this book was dead on when it came to our  strengths and weaknesses. It was uncanny.

So now I’m curious, which birth order are you? Did you marry the same? the opposite?


  1. interesting. i’m the oldest and married the oldest both times. the two men very different.

    thinking of other marriages i know that are successful – married 25+ years …
    oldest + oldest
    youngest + youngest

    hummm . . . . .

  2. The book does mention a few qualifiers: if you’re a first born son or daughter you are considered a “first born” no matter how many older siblings you have, if there is an age gap of five years then a “new” family starts and that child is also considered a “first born” and will have many first born traits. And of course, happy marriages can exist in any combination.

    1. hummm … i’d forgotten that five-year age gap. in my family, my brother and i are a year apart, and then there’s five years between our sisters who are also a year apart.

      are you reading the book by Dr. Kevin Leman?

      1. i know i’ve read parts or excerpts over the years, but i don’t think i’ve read it straight through. his book, Sheet Music, is also really good 😉

  3. I am the “baby girl” married to a middle son, albeit one who has acted ad the defacto oldest since….forever.

    Curious now to read this. Just to see.

  4. Regarding birth order, recent research only (last 20 yrs) shows correlations. Prior data had nothing. So I’ve been meaning to look at this stuff for some time having dismissed it prior. Is this book at least fairly scientific for a skeptic like myself?

    Birth order: 3/6 here, married to 2/2. No matter what, position and size are gonna have an effect. I assume the book went into that?

    1. Might not be scientific enough for a skeptic, it is more chatty than I normally like myself but I am enjoying it. I haven’t finished it yet but he does give varying examples of families and sizes.

  5. I’m an oldest married to what amounts to an oldest…he has a half brother 11 years older who lived with him part time growing up. My parents are both oldests. I do think that being the same birth order gives us similar perspective on things. We are both very much “oldest” types and I think we’d both be intolerant of “youngest kid” behavior patterns in the other.

    1. Interesting thing about my family of origin is that there was never any tolerance of what is known as youngest kid behavior.

      It was foreign, probably because we were being raise by a widowed father from the silent generation. I am in most ways more mature and responsible than all my older siblings because I never had the experience of that softness that comes from a mother (mother died having me).

      This makes me even more curious to read the book to see if I see myself in it at all.

      Thanks for piquing my curiosity, Mrs ktc. I have always known about the book bit never thought to read it.

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