In the first years of marriage when my husband was in a dark mood, which happened from time to time, I wouldn’t leave it alone. I would say: Why are you So angry? What’s wrong with you? Can’t you just be happy? Calm down! All of which were unhelpful and probably hurtful comments.
Now when he is distressed, I acknowledge his frustrations and leave it alone. Remembering that worries (I may never understand) weigh on his shoulders alone. And usually that’s all he wants, recognition, not advice, not answers or suggestions just acknowledgment of his struggles and pain.
There certainly is a learning curve to married life. No? I know our first few years were difficult. After that we settled into one another and the ebb and flow of life together. Despite the sorrows encountered (and there have been many), each year seems better than the last. Cliche I know, but true.