Women can’t help but think of their beauty and of preserving it. Mere vanity? Maybe. But it’s also a good. Women were meant to please, to seek approval. We want to bring pleasure. After all, God presented Eve to Adam, so he could delight in her, approve her. And in our hearts we still ask: am I good? Is this what you want? Do you like it? Am I flesh of your flesh? bone of your bone? I need this to be! Tell me it is so.
I am commonly asked by female Lyme patients interested in bee venom therapy about scarring. Not pain, scarring. It is true, if you do this therapy, your back will show years of bee stings along the spine. Most women find it worthwhile. The scars are easy to cover up and usually by the time you resort to such therapy, Lyme has overtaken your life. Anything to get rid of the pain!
But I see the women’s disappointment when they hear of scarring. They mourn a loss of beauty and afraid to admit how much their beauty means to them, quickly shove it aside with a battle scar mantra. I mourn too, my back is no longer smooth. We prize our beauty because we were made for enjoyment, for men (a despised truth in this age of feminism).
Though I know my husband doesn’t mind the scars, he’s glad to see me recovering, to see me climb stairs without fatigue and walk without getting dizzy. He doesn’t mind the stretch marks from carrying his babies either. But I still seek approval. I can’t help but seek it: Do you mind? Does it bother you? Is it ok?
Of course, this desire to please needs be tapered. It is no good seeking men’s approval in general, throwing oneself at the world. And this is the struggle I feel all too much. On one hand I am a woman, made for man, made to be delighted in, to bring pleasure and yet I am avowed only to one and above all I should seek God’s approval.