Go to the honeybee, and learn how she is a worker And how solemnly she does her work, Whose labors kings and common people use for health; And she is desirable to all and glorious; and although she is weak in bodily strength, She leads the way in honoring wisdom.Proverbs 6:10-12
Not only was my ability to write gone, the comfort of mediation and thought were gone! I think many writers fear that. To lose that voice that somehow knows the words needed to express the idea that popped into your head while showering,the one that whispers, the perfect rhyme in your ear, unforced and metered. I lost it. I had no ideas, no words, no desire, no meter, rhyme, rhythm, It didn’t matter whether I showed up to write, with pen or paper, or sat down at the computer. It didn’t matter. it was gone. Even the sweet, healing salve of the Hail Mary was gone.
In the past I feared I would lose writing content. That I would dry up, but it never really happened not until getting sick. The pain of Lyme is awful, the aching joints and fatigue are awful, but losing my mind, the edge I was proud of, the wit, losing thought, clear thoughts that was the worst. That was hell.
I prayed for healing. As much as I could. The antibiotics helped some symptoms but it didn’t touch any neuro problems. And I fell upon Bee Venom Therapy God dropped it on my lap. And as soon as I stung myself a fog lifted. Thank God for the honeybee! I could think again and write again. Thank God! I look at how much I have written since starting BVT. I look at all the poetry I have finished and all the drafts of poems waiting revision (I love revisions!) and I have memorized more prayers, and I have taught my children the rosary. The sweet sting of the honeybee gave me back my muse. Gave me back my prayer life, reason, clear thoughts!