Alice Thomas Ellis a very talented writer, a Catholic and an anti-feminist once said,
There is no reciprocity. Men love women. Women love children. Children love hamster. Hamsters don’t love anyone; it is quite hopeless.
The quote annoys me because I like to think that women love men. That I love men. That I love my man. It annoys me because I know she is getting at something, there is a strong urge for men to protect women. There is a strong urge for women to protect children and, yes, children find hamsters irresistible. The urge to protect my children is much stronger than any urge to protect my husband. Despite these natural urges – Love, I pray, is reciprocal.
I have also heard people say, “men marry for wives. women marry for children.” Which also annoys me because I like to think that I married my husband because I loved him. Because I loved him enough to surrender completely to him as my authority. I ask myself would I have married him if I knew we would be childless? Yes. What else was there for me but him? I was hopelessly in love. I knew marriage was my calling. I knew he was my calling. Did I hope children were also my calling? – of course! But I only wanted his.
I was reading CH he wrote:
A good, if abstractedly imperfect, test of a woman’s love for you is to ask if she would she die for you. You can ask yourself this question, and if you’re honest you’ll know the answer.
Would she die for you?
Because most women wouldn’t.
I ask myself would my husband die for my children? Yes. Would my husband die for me? Yes. Would I die for my children? Yes. Would I die for my husband? Yes. Because, I like to think that I love my husband. I like to think that I love him enough to die for him. I like to think that I am virtuous.
Dear God, make me good!