The bee is more honored than other animals, not because she labors, but because she labors for others. ~Saint John Chrysostom
I’ve been sick. Too sick for words. Sick for a long time – months. I have Lyme Disease. It hurts to put my hair up, it hurts to take a shower, it hurts to move. Some days I just lay in bed. Others I feel better, I do simple chores and take care of my girls.
Lyme, I thought it was just fatigue and joint pain. No one said it was going to feel like a ton of bricks were on my chest as I tried to breathe or that the joint pain throbs like a jammed finger. But it’s not just a jammed finger it’s jammed knees, elbows, shoulders, toes- a unified, throbbing, chronic and invisible pain. I didn’t know what it could do. What it could take away so rapidly – my routine, my desires, my life. I didn’t know the heaviness that it would bring!
But I’m getting better- Thank God! I am getting better through the sweet healing sting of God’s honored honeybee! I sting myself with bees an inch along my spine on acupuncture points. The venom pulses through my back -it burns. The first time I stung myself, I lost my breath from the shock of it. Now It burns and I am able to breathe and I visualize the venom killing the pathogens that have infected my body, my life.
I think. Oh, to think! I am finally able to think! Lyme takes away thought and with it a certain joy. The joy of clarity. Oh, to have thought! I wanted to think yet couldn’t. They call it brain fog. But it feels more like mindlessness- doing things you know you should do but not fully understanding the task at hand Or trying to express yourself but finding no words, no real thought. But now, I can think again, Write again. Thank God! Thank God!