Happy Home Life

Originally posted on A Traditional Wife & Mama:

They say that the father is the head of the family and the mother is the heart. It is so very important for the mother to create a home environment that is pleasant for her husband and children. With young children, it certainly isn’t an easy task but it is something that we should always strive after.

I found the following about creating a happy home life from a book entitled “Christ in the Home”…

1. Always appear before your family in a good humor. Nothing is so depressing for the rest of the family as a father or mother out of sorts. See that the family never has to suffer because of your attack of nerves or your irritability.

2. Never weary in cheering your family with your smile. It is not enough to avoid depressing the family; that is purely negative. You must brighten them up, let their…

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How to Listen to your Man

“A woman need not be well-educated, or possess high intelligence to follow a clever man’s discourse. In his pleasure at having himself admired the man seldom notices that his conversation is not understood.”

“Do not listen only to what he is saying, but to the man who is saying it”

“Don’t get so wound up that you form strong opinions which lead to arguments”

Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin

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I’m an intelligent woman, capable in my own way, but I’ll tell ya, my husband’s knowledge of economics, business and electrical engineering is way beyond mine. He doesn’t seem to mind that, he still talks to me about his work. His speech is filled with jargon I don’t understand, math principles I have forgotten and people I have never met. But if he wants to tell me about his day, achievements, struggles, hopes, opinions, I lend a loving ear and count it a privilege to have his confidence. Sometimes, when I am completely unable to follow his discourse, I admire the fact that he is just that smart! Truly, though, it works.

In the past, I got too caught up with what he said, trying to impress him with my intellect and cleverness. This would end up at times with very strong opinions on both sides and, as Helen Andelin warns,  an argument. Later, I realized that I was actually trying to compete with him. I was not accepting him or admiring him- merely trying to impress. That’s not what he wanted. He wanted to share his day, he wanted to be received and esteemed. He wanted me to listen as his wife- not  his co-worker.

I now find things to admire in his speech.  It’s not always what he says sometimes its just the gleam in his eye when he says it, sometimes his manly mannerisms or just the fact that he is talking to me. 

Authority is Paramount

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I am enjoying the book Fascinating Womanhood. It is extremely helpful and I have found it a bit more applicable to me than Laura Doyle’s book the Surrendered Wife (also a very helpful read) I believe that is because Helen Andelin writes a bit more about children and family life:

A family is not a democracy, where everyone casts his vote. The family is a theocracy, where the father’s word is law. In the home the presiding authority is always vested in the father, and in all home affairs and family matters, no other authority is paramount. This arrangement is not arbitrary or unfair. It’s a matter of the law and order in the Kingdom of God.

This excerpt struck me:

You may tend to claim jurisdiction over your children, since you have given them life and are in charge of their daily care. You may feel the right to determine discipline, instruction, religious affiliation, and other important things. If you clash with your husband on these matters, you may feel an inalienable right to the final say. This is not so. Although you have the sacred responsibility of motherhood, you are not their leader. Your husband is the shepherd of his flock and in full command.

Although I do not undermine my husband’s authority by disagreeing with his disciplining methods and  try very hard to be a united front, I often have to fight the feeling of having an inalienable right to the final say when it comes to raising the children. This passage was rather eye opening for me. I am beginning to see many of my faults rather clearly now.

By The Hand of A Female

estherThen said the king unto her, What wilt thou, queen Esther? and what is thy request? it shall be even given thee to the half of the kingdom.
Esther 5:3

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Most blessed of women be Jael,
    the wife of Heber the Kenite,
    most blessed of tent-dwelling women.
 He asked for water, and she gave him milk;
    in a bowl fit for nobles she brought him curdled milk.
Her hand reached for the tent peg,
    her right hand for the workman’s hammer.
She struck Sisera, she crushed his head,
    she shattered and pierced his temple.
 At her feet he sank,
    he fell; there he lay.
At her feet he sank, he fell;
    where he sank, there he fell—dead.

Judges 5: 24-27

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Then she fell on her face and bowed herself to the ground, and said unto him, why have I found grace in thine eyes, that thou shouldest take knowledge of me, seeing I am a stranger? . . . And Boaz answered and said unto her, It hath fully been shewed me, all that thou hast done unto thy mother in law since the death of thine husband: and how thou hast left thy father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knewest not heretofore.

Ruth 2:10-11

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Then her words pleased Holofernes and all his servants; and they marvelled at her wisdom, and said,
There is not such a woman from one end of the earth to the other, both for beauty of face, and wisdom of words.

Judith 11:20-21.

The Importance of Non-Verbal Prayer

I enjoyed this article which reflects upon the importance of non-verbal prayer within the Mass. Here is an excerpt, I highly recommend reading it in full:

What we got instead was a Missal which the Faithful could follow word by word, without the need (after a while) of hand-missals. The prayers were simple, the ceremonies short and cut down to the bone, and (apparently) logical. It was in the vernacular. It faced the people. The translation used words of one syllable wherever possible. It all fitted together.

I have on a previous occasion quoted the Catholic sociologist Anthony Archer as saying something which is is really shattering to this whole development.

But it was an unkind fate that allowed the new mass to come to completion just when – elsewhere – the importance of non-verbal communication was being rediscovered.

This was what was missing from the Liturgical Movement. An appreciation of non-verbal communication is not incompatible with the writings of the earlier exponents, such as Guéranger, despite his emphasis on ‘understanding’. But as the movement develops, and turns into the movement to create the Novus Ordo, a blindness to non-verbal communication (and a parallel lack of interest in gestures and visual ceremonies) becomes increasingly evident and increasingly problematic.

A Lesson in Detachment: Decluttering Books.

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I’ve been working hard on decluttering our house and am very pleased with the results. I got rid of a lot of books and even some rickety bookshelves! Getting rid of books has always been difficult for me, but they were getting out of hand. It was a great lesson in detachment going through the shelves and donating them. I am so glad I did though because I now have space for prayer, a little shrine on top our family bookshelf. I even have room to display some much loved pieces like the tea set, a wedding gift from my husband.